The second journal entry found written by Penelope Resto.
September 13th
Journal Entry #256 of 2017
I run hard. I play hard. I work hard. I also take care of my body. I'm at the gym three to four times a week. Besides a slice here and there, I am pretty good about what I eat. I follow that book's rules, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” Michael Pollan is a genius. I usually feel great. I am in good shape. I rarely get sick, but here we are.
Early this morning, like what, 8 or so, I felt a wretch in my stomach. It was awful. I was on the treadmill and jumped off thinking I was going to lose it. It only lasted a moment or so, but then it happened again and again. I think I am getting used to them and am not as affected as I was this morning, but I have been experiencing nausea all day. It comes and goes. It is annoying as hell.
Outside of that, yesterday and today have been amazing! I have been hustling for that co-working space. They kept me on and are still paying me a dollar a flier. The only thing is, they only are paying up to $250, which I think is stupid. So I stop at $250, but hey, an extra $1250 a week has been really helpful. I think I found a place that's going to be perfect. It's a two bedroom. There's a roommate, but she's like 70. It's rent controlled and she's only going to charge me $450!! Right? She has like 4 cats, but whatever.
Mmm. There it is again. I don't know why I just wrote down my out loud grimacing. Felt right. I need to accurately record what's happening in my life. That's why I am doing this. There needs to be a paper trail so when I am making that real money, I can go back and review all the things I did to get there, all the things I did to keep myself sane, all the things I did, am doing, to stay motivated.
I'm aware, nobody is going to hand me anything. Well, except this lady with the amazing price for a room in her apartment like two blocks from the south end of Central Park. I mean, I'm here every day with these fliers anyway, what a great place to start. I am not going to miss that train ride from my sister's place.
You know, sometimes they are infrequent and sometimes they are really constant. Like, rapid fire. For scale, I've had cramps worse than this, but this is really frustrating. I just want it to be over.
Going forward, what are some goals that I can flesh out for how I am going to adjust to all the capital I am earning above what I have been budgeting to get through? Let's say the day job keeps letting me work 5 days. Let's also say the bar stays steady at 500 a night. We are looking at 4 days of $750 and two days of $250. I will keep one day a week off to rest and do errands and all that. For the foreseeable future, we are looking at $3500 a week. If that day job fucks me with a 1099 I am going to need to make sure to keep some money aside for taxes. They haven't said anything about it yet. Do I quit and just take my earnings and run or do I fight maybe for W2 status? Is it worth it?
Anyway, we are looking at like $14000 a month for the next few months. That's plenty to pay my rent, pay off the last bit of that stupid student loan I have been letting just sit there, bills otherwise and a lot to save.
It's funny. I should be happy with that stupid number. I mean, that's 6 figures right there if I were to keep steady for a year. I'm not though. I thought reaching my financial goals was where it was at. Here I am. I won. Again.
Just keep grinding, Pen. Just keep grinding. You are probably just trying to sabotage yourself because it for sure seems too good to be true. You have an amazing bestie, a steady job, a legit once in a lifetime day gig, and a great apartment. You deserve all those things. This is what you have been striving for. Keep doing it. It may not last. That day job might just stop sending you out with those fliers. I mean, unless they are getting a really high percentage of memberships from the fliers, I can't imagine they would be okay with bleeding all the money they are.
Ooh, on another note, my favorite band is playing Sunday night. Perfect, right? I am going to splurge and get front row seats. I've never been that close to the stage at a show. I saw a couple comedians up close, but that's not nearly as fun as live music. It was funny, don't get me wrong, but they kept trying to roast me. Idgaf, so I just let them. They moved on when I didn't respond. I don't even have resting bitch face. Well, maybe I do. Fuck em.
Sailboat though. They have such an energetic presence. There are 4 of them on stage. The keyboardist though, he's hilarious. He goes nuts and is jumping around and spinning and pounding on the keys. It's so great. She's my favorite. The singers are good too, but that keyboardist, she's the light of my life right now. You know how you need something and then put on a record, or a movie, or you get a meal and it's everything? Yeah. They're everything right now. I feel like they are playing my life. All the music is about identity and being confident in who you have decided to become and being strong in your pursuit of it. That and getting shitfaced and not feeling ashamed. Like, you are who you are and the decisions you make reflect you in a real way, so never be ashamed, be bold, be you.
In my soul. I love it.
Things are looking good. Life is good. Don't you fuck me, universe. I am in no mood for it.